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played his records but he felt the same shyness about hearing his youthful passionate
voice as an aging, balding man running to fat feels about showing pictures of himself as
a youth in the full bloom of manhood.
"My voice is out of shape," he said. "And honestly, I'm sick of hearing myself sing."
They both sipped their drinks. "I hear you're great in this picture," she said. "Is it true
you did it for nothing?"
"Just a token payment," Johnny said.
He got up to give her a refill on her brandy glass, gave her a gold-monogrammed
cigarette and flashed his lighter out to hold the light for her. She puffed on the cigarette
and sipped her drink and he sat down beside her again. His glass had considerably
more brandy in it than hers, he needed it to warm himself, to cheer himself, to charge
3
himself up. His situation was the reverse of the lover's usual one. He had to get himself
drunk instead of the girl. The girl was usually too willing where he was not. The last two
years had been hell on his ego, and he used this simple way to restore it, sleeping with
a young fresh girl for one night, taking her to dinner a few times, giving her an
expensive present and then brushing her off in the nicest way possible so that her
feelings wouldn't be hurt. And then they could always say they had had a thing with the
great Johnny Fontane. It wasn't true love, but you couldn't knock it if the girl was
beautiful and genuinely nice. He hated the hard, bitchy ones, the ones who screwed for
him and then rushed off to tell their friends that they'd screwed the great Johnny
Fontane, always adding that they'd had better. What amazed him more than anything
else in his career were the complaisant (обходительный, неконфликтный
[k∂m'pleız∂nt]) husbands who almost told him to his face that they forgave their wives
since it was allowed for even the most virtuous matron to be unfaithful with a great
singing and movie star like Johnny Fontane. That really floored (to floor – валить
наземь, сбивать с ног; смущать, поражать) him.
He loved Ella Fitzgerald on records. He loved that kind of clean singing, that kind of
clean phrasing. It was the only thing in life he really understood and he knew he
understood it better than anyone else on earth. Now lying back on the couch, the
brandy warming his throat, he felt a desire to sing, not music, but to phrase with the
records, yet it was something impossible to do in front of a stranger. He put his free
hand in Sharon's lap, sipping his drink from his other hand. Without any slyness but with
the sensualness of a child seeking warmth, his hand in her lap pulled up the silk of her
dress to show milky white thigh above the sheer netted gold of her stockings and as
always, despite all the women, all the years, all the familiarity, Johnny felt the fluid sticky
warmness flooding through his body at that sight. The miracle still happened, and what
would he do when that failed him as his voice had?
He was ready now. He put his drink down on the long inlaid (мозаичный,
инкрустированный) cocktail table and turned his body toward her. He was very sure,
very deliberate, and yet tender. There was nothing sly or lecherously lascivious
(похотливый, сладострастный [l∂’sıvıj∂s]) in his caresses. He kissed her on the lips
while his hands rose to her breasts. His hand fell to her warm thighs, the skin so silky to
his touch. Her returning kiss was warm but not passionate and he preferred it that way
right now. He hated girls who turned on all of a sudden as if their bodies were motors
galvanized into erotic pumpings by the touching of a hairy switch.
Then he did something he always did, something that had never yet failed to arouse
him. Delicately and as lightly as it was possible to do so and still feel something, he
brushed the tip of his middle finger deep down between her thighs. Some girls never
4
even felt that initial move toward lovemaking. Some were distracted by it, not sure it was
a physical touch because at the same time he always kissed them deeply on the mouth.
Still others seemed to suck in his finger or gobble it up (жадно есть, заглатывать) with
a pelvic (тазовый) thrust. And of course before he became famous, some girls had
slapped his face. It was his whole technique and usually it served him well enough.
Sharon's reaction was unusual. She accepted it all, the touch, the kiss, then shifted
her mouth off his, shifted her body ever so slightly back along the couch and picked up
her drink. It was a cool but definite refusal. It happened sometimes. Rarely; but it
happened. Johnny picked up his drink and lit a cigarette.
She was saying something very sweetly, very lightly. "It's not that I don't like you,
Johnny, you're much nicer than I thought you'd be. And it's not because I'm not that kind
of a girl. It's just that I have to be turned on to do it with a guy, you know what I mean?"
Johnny Fontane smiled at her. He still liked her. "And I don't turn you on?"
She was a little embarrassed. "Well, you know, when you were so great singing and
all, I was still a little kid. I sort of just missed you, I was the next generation. Honest, it's
not that I'm goody-goody (паинька). If you were a movie star I grew up on, I'd have my
panties off in a second."
He didn't like her quite so much now. She was sweet, she was witty, she was
intelligent. She hadn't fallen all over herself to screw for him or try to hustle (толкать,
пихать; добиваться чего-либо напористыми, не всегда честными действиями) him
because his connections would help her in show biz. She was really a straight kid. But
there was something else he recognized. It had happened a few times before. The girl
who went on a date with her mind all made up not to go to bed with him, no matter how
much she liked him, just so that she could tell her friends, and even more, herself, that
she had turned down a chance to screw for the great Johnny Fontane. It was something
he understood now that he was older and he wasn't angry. He just didn't like her quite
that much and he had really liked her a lot.
And now that he didn't like her quite so much, he relaxed more. He sipped his drink
and watched the Pacific Ocean. She said, "I hope you're not sore, Johnny. I guess I'm
being square, I guess in Hollywood a girl's supposed to put out just as casually as
kissing a beau (щеголь; здесь: кавалер [b∂u]) good night. I just haven't been around
long enough."
Johnny smiled at her and patted her cheek. His hand fell down to pull her skirt
5
discreetly over her rounded silken knees. "I'm not sore," he said. "It's nice having an old-
fashioned date." Not telling what he felt: the relief at not having to prove himself a great
lover, not having to live up (быть достойным /чего-либо/, тянуться) to his screened,
godlike image. Not having to listen to the girl trying to react as if he really had lived up to
that image, making more out of a very simple, routine piece of ass than it really was.
They had another drink, shared a few more cool kisses and then she decided to go.
Johnny said politely, "Can I call you for dinner some night?"
She played it frank and honest to the end. "I know you don't want to waste your time
and then get disappointed," she said. "Thanks for a wonderful evening. Someday I'll tell
my children I had supper with the great Johnny Fontane all alone in his apartment."
He smiled at her. "And that you didn't give in (уступить, сдаться)," he said. They both
laughed. "They'll never believe that," she said. And then Johnny, being a little phony
(фальшивый, притворяющийся) in his turn, said, "I'll give it to you in writing, want me
to?" She shook her head. He continued on. "Anybody doubts you, give me a buzz on
the phone, I'll straighten them right out. I'll tell them how I chased you all around the
apartment but you kept your honor. OK?"
He had, finally, been a little too cruel and he felt stricken at the hurt on her young face.
She understood that he was telling her that he hadn't tried too hard. He had taken the
sweetness of her victory away from her. Now she would feel that it had been her lack of
charm or attractiveness that had made her the victor this night. And being the girl she
was, when she told the story of how she resisted the great Johnny Fontane, she would
always have to add with a wry little smile, "Of course, he didn't try very hard." So now
taking pity on her, he said, "If you ever feel real down, give me a ring. OK? I don't have
to shack up (сожительствовать, переспать) every girl I know."
"I will," she said. She went out the door.
He was left with a long evening before him. He could have used what Jack Woltz
called the "meat factory," the stable of willing starlets, but he wanted human
companionship. He wanted to talk like a human being. He thought of his first wife,
Virginia. Now that the work on the picture was finished he would have more time for the
kids. He wanted to become part of their life again. And he worried about Virginia too.
She wasn't equipped to handle the Hollywood sharpies (sharpy – жулик, мошенник;
энергичный человек) who might come after her just so that they could brag about
having screwed Johnny Fontane's first wife. As far as he knew, nobody could say that
yet. Everybody could say it about his second wife though, he thought wryly. He picked
up the phone.
6
He recognized her voice immediately and that was not surprising. He had heard it the
first time when he was ten years old and they had been in 4B together. "Hi, Ginny," he
said, "you busy tonight? Can I come over for a little while?"
"All right," she said. "The kids are sleeping though; I don't want to wake them up."
"That's OK," he said. "I just wanted to talk to you."
Her voice hesitated slightly, then carefully controlled not to show any concern, she
asked, "Is it anything serious, anything important?"
"No," Johnny said. "I finished the picture today and I thought maybe I could just see
you and talk to you. Maybe I could take a look at the kids if you're sure they won't wake
up."
"OK," she said. "I'm glad you got that part you wanted."
"Thanks," he said. "I'll see you in about a half hour."
When he got to what had been his home in Beverly Hills, Johnny Fontane sat in the
car for a moment staring at the house. He remembered what his Godfather had said,
that he could make his own life what he wanted. Great chance if you knew what you
wanted. But what did he want?
His first wife was waiting for him at the door. She was pretty, petite (маленького
роста, изящная [p∂'ti:t]) and brunette, a nice Italian girl, the girl next door who would
never fool around with another man and that had been important to him. Did he still
want her, he asked himself, and the answer was no. For one thing, he could no longer
make love to her, their affection had grown too old. And there were some things,
nothing to do with sex, she could never forgive him. But they were no longer enemies.
She made him coffee and served him homemade cookies in the living room. "Stretch
out on the sofa," she said, "you look tired." He took off his jacket and his shoes and
loosened his tie while she sat in the chair opposite him with a grave little smile on her
face. "It's funny," she said.
"What's funny?" he asked her, sipping coffee and spilling some of it on his shirt.
"The great Johnny Fontane stuck (to stick – завязнуть, застрять) without a date," she
said.
"The great Johnny Fontane is lucky if he can even get it up anymore," he said.
It was unusual for him to be so direct. Ginny asked, "Is there something really the
matter?"
Johnny grinned at her. "I had a date with a girl in my apartment and she brushed me
off. And you know, I was relieved."
To his surprise he saw a look of anger pass over Ginny's face. "Don't worry about
those little tramps," she said. "She must have thought that was the way to get you
interested in her," And Johnny realized with amusement that Ginny was actually angry
with the girl who had turned him down.
"Ah, what the hell," he said. "I'm tired of that stuff. I have to grow up sometime. And
7
now that I can't sing anymore I guess I'll have a tough time with dames. I never got in on
my looks, you know."
She said loyally, "You were always better looking than you photographed."
Johnny shook his head. "I'm getting fat and I'm getting bald. Hell, if this picture doesn't
make me big again I better learn how to bake pizzas. Or maybe we'll put you in the
movies, you look great."
She looked thirty-five, A good thirty-five, but thirty-five. And out here in Hollywood that
might as well be a hundred. The young beautiful girls thronged through the city like
lemmings (лемминг, пеструшка /зоол./), lasting one year, some two, Some of them so
beautiful they could make a man's heart almost stop beating until they opened their
mouths, until the greedy hopes for success clouded the loveliness of their eyes.
Ordinary women could never hope to compete with them on a physical level. And you
could talk all you wanted to about charm, about intelligence, about chic, about poise, the
raw beauty of these girls overpowered everything else. Perhaps if there were not so
many of them there might be a chance for an ordinary, nice-looking woman. And since
Johnny Fontane could have all of them, or nearly all of them, Ginny knew that he was
saying all this just to flatter her. He had always been nice that way. He had always been
polite to women even at the height of his fame, paying them compliments, holding lights
for their cigarettes, opening doors. And since all this was usually done for him, it made it
even more impressive to the girls he went out with. And he did it with all girls, even the
one-night stands, I-don't-know-your-name girls.
She smiled at him, a friendly smile. "You already made me, Johnny, remember? For
twelve years. You don't have to give me your line."
He sighed and stretched out on the sofa. "No kidding, Ginny, you look good. I wish I
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